We have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl. The boys, we are
learning are easy for the most part. You guide, direct, throw them a pair of
khakis and a shirt, make them brush their teeth, brushing hair is optional and
once they reach a certain age make them wear deodorant.
The girl on the other hand has been another whole Oprah
Show. There is much much more to deal with and then throw in the fact that she
has two older brothers and good grief.
There are things she has done, said, and experienced that I
am pretty sure I would’ve never let my first-born do by the age of 5. In fact I
have jokingly said, Emma Sanders is the child that I wouldn’t let Preston play
with when he was in pre-school.
Braxton and I have both been approached recently about
writing a book on girls. And we are considering it but we both have looked at
each other and said, “should we make sure she turns out alright first?” So maybe, maybe in 15 years we will
write that book.
I am in the process of making a list though. Things that I
am teaching her along the way and some things that she is teaching me. Some are
things born out of tradition. You know, southern manners and all and some are
out of a heart of really wanting her to live for something greater than
herself. To seek God’s fame and glory and not her own.
So here is my list. I’m not asking for anyone’s approval of
my list. It is my list and as my momma would say, “it is what it is.” If you
don’t agree or you are not teaching your daughter the same things, great. If
you do agree and even have some things I might want to add, great!
I just felt the need to write my list down in case she
forgets or in 25 + years when she becomes a mom
she can look back and remember what I taught her.
1.
Girls Don’t Say Fart. I know, your brothers say
it all the time. In fact, they do it all the time. But you are becoming a beautiful young lady and when you say
“fart” it just doesn’t sound as beautiful as you are.
2.
When you are wearing a dress or shorts for that
matter, keep your legs together and down.
No one wants to see what color panties you are wearing and if they do
then your daddy has a baseball bat with their name on it.
3.
Don’t tear others down. At the root of criticism
is insecurity. Any person that is constantly critical of another is deeply
insecure and needs justification by pulling others down. Your security lies in
the cross of Jesus Christ and what he has done for you, what he says about you.
Nothing can take that away from you. Share that with others to build them up,
not tear them down.
4.
Don’t pick your teeth at the table. It’s gross
and I realize we come from a long line of good ol’ southern people who forget
where they are sometimes and just pick and pick but please don’t. Excuse
yourself from the table and while you are there refresh your lipstick.
5.
Be Content not Complacent. There is a
difference. Contentment says, “I
don’t gain my joy from other people or things. I am content in any given
circumstance with any type of people, regardless of what I can get from the
situation.” Complacency is self
satisfied and un-concerned with others. It says, “I only have to work this hard
or do this much.”
Contentment = Joy and Complacency =
Laziness.
6.
Girls don’t call/text boys first. There are some
traditions that are dying hard and fast in this world but I think it is
important that you hold fast to some of them. This is one of them. If he is a
true gentleman and one that you would want to spend time with then he will make
the first move.
7.
If you can’t say something nice don’t say it at
all and try hard not to think it. Just because we have social media and you can
say anything at anytime that you are thinking doesn’t mean that you should.
Learn self control, it will go a long way.
8.
Always no matter how old you get have respect
for authority. Regardless if it is someone in a uniform or if it is the 92 year
old lady living next door. Have respect. Listen, honor and respect. “Yes Ma’am,
Yes Sir” you are NEVER too old to say that. Hearing a young person say, “yeah”
to an adult makes me think they were raised in a barn. And you my dear were
not.
9.
Enjoy the rain. I mean this literally and
metaphorically. There are going to be moments of rain in your life. Take time
to stop when it happens and be thankful. The rain/hard times in life bring the
water that causes us to grow. And from time to time when it literally rains go
out and dance in it. Remember the times we did this together and the rainbows
that came out afterwards.
10. Love and be loved. Love with the kind of love that comes
from a heart of knowing Jesus. Don’t just love the people that are easy to
love. Let people love you. Let them in, share deep friendships where people are
free to love you without fear. Love Jesus, learn to love him more and more each
day until you become a reflection of him to the world.
