Evacuation

The definition for evacuation as defined by whatever site I googled says this:

Emptying: the act of removing the contents of something; leaving a place in an orderly fashion; especially for protection and elimination: the bodily process of discharging waste matter.

For the Brady family this whole entire week has been about evacuation both on a literal and figurative level. Oh where do I begin....

Tuesday of this week started out as a normal day. Kids got up and went to school, I started my daily routine of laundry, playing with Emma, picking up the house, etc... I went up to the school about 2:30 to pick up Bennett a little early due to the fact that he and Emma would be getting the 2nd half of their H1N1 shots. I knew that may cause a little drama but I had no idea what I was in for and that it would have nothing to do with a vaccination. In fact their shots went really well. Bennett did not cry at all and Emma only cried for a second. We left the room where they were giving shots and headed to the gym. Braxton was coaching a 4th grade basketball game and Preston was in an after school Math help session. Bennett asked to stay and watch some of the game and I needed to wait on Preston anyway so I thought it would be a great idea to hang in the gym. Emma and I climb to the top of the bleachers and sat against the wall. I hand her something to play with and begin a conversation with a mom next to me. Approximately 5 minutes later the fire alarm at PDS begins to go off. I look at the mom I am talking to and say, umm...I wonder if someone pulled that. We then begin to question if we should leave the gym. In fact you can see on everyone's faces the same question. It is at this juncture in time where I turn and for the first time look at my two year old, who I thought was playing quietly next to me. (It has been approx 3 minutes since the fire alarm first sounded.) Emma looks at me and with all the elation of someone who has just won the lottery she exclaims, "I did it!" with both arms raised in the air. Oh sweet goodness, it hits me and I am pretty sure I turned 18 shades of red and my blood pressure sky rocketed as I realized, yes in fact someone had pulled the fire alarm, my child. I pick her up and run to the front desk to let them know that Emma is the reason for all the panic. The girl at the front desk tells me that the fire truck is on the way. NICE. I then proceed to take Bennett and Emma and head for the car, trying to dodge their daddy on the way out. As we step into the parking lot I see two people headed our direction, okay, several people evacuating the building, but two that I locked eyes with. One was Lee Burns the headmaster of the school and the other was Preston. It is here where an already embarrassing situation gets worse. Bennett sees Preston and from across the parking lot shouts at the top of his lungs..."Preston, our sister did it." He does this with hand motions pointing to Emma drawing EVERYONE'S attention to us, including Lee Burns. I immediately shove Bennett's head into my jacket pretty much smother him as I hiss...SHH....you don't make announcements like that. At which he makes a giggle a muffled giggle because I am still smothering him.

So that was the first of our evacuations. One I am sure I will never live down.

The 2nd evacuation actually was of a planned type, my sweet father in law had knee replacement surgery on Wednesday. So his evacuation was that of a bad knee. Not nearly embarrassing as Emma evacuating an entire school and church on a Tuesday afternoon but as defined by Webster's an evacuation nonetheless. He is doing well and hopefully after some rehab will be doing better than ever.

Another evacuation happened yesterday as I went to an ENT to have my ear checked. My right ear has been stopped up since before Christmas and was starting to hurt. I put off going to the doctor as long as possible thinking it would clear itself up. Yesterday I gave in and went. The ENT looked in my ear and found the problem immediately. Both of my ears were clogged with an "excessive amount of wax." Excessive, really? I thought, surely not. Well, he then begins to use a suction tool and evacuate the wax from my ears. He then shows me the wax. I am not kidding it was the most disgusting, discolored and disturbing thing I have seen ever. I was so embarrassed. Now that I can definitely hear better and my ears feel wonderful I am thinking about going into the candle making business. Seriously.