Limited Vision

When I was in third grade I had to start wearing glasses. At first it was just for reading but before long I was wearing them non stop. I had limited vision.  Looking back on pictures I realize how big those glasses were back then. Good grief! My sister says it looks like I had a scuba mask for glasses. So pretty.

Last night we had an SOS group come over for an exposure visit. This is where a college group that is doing work with SOS for Spring break comes to hear about the neighborhood. They ask us about our story, how we came to live here, what it is like to parent in this atmosphere, what others think, etc... We always enjoy these visits and the opportunity to share what God has done and is doing here. What an amazing privilege.

After they left last night I started thinking about being limited in our vision. You see when I was younger I had completely different sight than I do now. And not just in a literal sense. It was not until my mid twenties that I truly believe God started clearing up my vision and showing me some things. Things about His heart, His plan for my life, etc... I looked at those young college kids last night and thought there is a whole world for them to digest, they are eager, excited and I believe God is just now starting to peel back the scales from their eyes and show them His perfect vision.

And as much as I look back and see more clearly now I still believe we all have some limited vision. And this side of heaven we always will. Because of that there will always be things that don't make sense to us, like why young kids get cancer www.erikandkatekrull.blogspot.com, why earthquakes and tsunamis happen, why sometimes our plan doesn't work out.

But at the beginning of each day I put on contacts (not so ugly glasses anymore) and take the hand of the one that has perfect vision and trust he sees more clearly than I can and in that I find rest.

"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." I Corinthians 13:11-12

And Then There Were Nine

A few blog post ago I wrote about getting new neighbors. Well, one of the houses that was for rent is now occupied. We have 9 new neighbors. One mom and eight children. They are refugees from Cameroon. We are still getting to know them and learn their names. Their ages range from 16 to 2. We have already had some great conversations with our kids about being intentional with them. And the fact that our kids are seeing 9 people live in a 2 bedroom 1 bath home is a great lesson in itself on being grateful, selfless, humble, etc...Starting tomorrow morning Braxton will be driving the two oldest to the bus stop at 6am to catch the MATA (Memphis public transportation system) to ride to school. I am praying for some great conversation time and for God to use that ride each morning to show those kids His love.

One of the ladies from our church who helped this family move in and get situated was telling me how thankful she was for this family to have great neighbors and thanking us for our time. She said she hoped we didn't get overwhelmed. I told her it is a large part of why we live here and that we were glad we could help. We were excited for the opportunity to love, teach and neighbor.

I hope to get the opportunity soon to photograph them. Maybe blow some of them up for them to have in frames. They are beautiful children on the outside and I can't wait to share with them about how they can become beautiful on the inside as well. A beauty that never fades.

Name Dropper

So I just watched this music video and have to share it. Never was a huge MTV fan back in the day but I love me a good YouTube video at least once every other week. Ahem..especially when it is someone I know. Or maybe don't know directly but know their mom or dad. Or at least see their mom and dad in church every Sunday.

Anyway, just watch and listen. Great song. Great Video. Worth your time. Then you can say, I read a blog of a girl, who goes to church with the mom and dad of Drew Holcomb from Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors. Go ahead drop that name, drop it like it's hot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RnGqjSWNEk

We're Getting New Neighbors!

One of my struggles I constantly battle living in this neighborhood is pessimism. You hear gun shots and you assume someone is dealing drugs, you hear a police car and you assume domestic violence, you see an ambulance and you assume the worst. It is a battle to keep your attitude in check and remember that there are rainbows and that our creator has put them there as a promise.

Over the weekend two "For Rent" signs went up on our street. One right across the street and one next door. The minute I saw them my mind went to pessimism. In general rental properties are not a positive in our neighborhood. Transient people who have just enough cash to get them through a month or two. People who are usually earning their money in not so positive ways. It is discouraging and frustrating.

As I was looking at the two signs and pondering who our next neighbors would be Bennett, our middle child, came into the room. Bennett is a rainbow in our life. A reminder of promises and hope. He is a positive child always seeing the silver lining. He can miss a wide open lay up in a basketball game and still be just grinning. He can miss the bonus on the spelling test and laugh at they way he thought it was spelled. So as I am drifting towards the negative about the future of the rental property Bennett lights up and says with all the excitement of winning the lottery, "We're getting new neighbors!"

Like the Lord himself was taking my shoulders and shaking them saying "Don't you get it?" "New neighbors, new opportunities to share the gospel, new people that I have created for you to be my hands and feet to." The very reason we moved here in the first place.

In Proverbs 4:23 it says "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." This is our family scripture this month and as I reflect on it I am reminded to guard my heart from pessimism. To look for the rainbows and the promises of God. And to have the pure joy that my 7 year old has even when negative assumptions rule our thoughts.

Here's a Story of a Girl...

It has taken me over a month to get my act enough together to write about the past 6 weeks of our life. On December 18,2010 my baby brother Ross got married to Anne Todd. She was a beautiful bride and he was a dashing and handsome groom and the wedding was breathtaking.

But this is not about them. This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world....and when she smiles we absolutely love her. Well the morning started with donuts, the afternoon took off with no nap, and the wedding pictures started at 3. So being a 3 year old with no nap, not much lunch and lots of sugar for breakfast, she was quite disagreeable. To say the least.

She did have moments like the picture above where she would light up, I think it had something to do with the 150 hershey kisses we were giving her to make her cooperate, maybe. The problem is that she would crash from the sugar high and everyone would pay.

At one point I left her in the room (which was the nursery of the church) with Ross and the groomsmen. My only instruction was to not let her leave the room. (that would be my mistake) I went back to help with wedding details and when I came back in the room she had a Dr Pepper in one hand and a brownie in the other. She was fully dressed. How in the world she did not get any on her was by the grace of God.

She did walk down the aisle and looked beautiful. Hand in hand with me. Because as it was her turn to walk she looked back at me and said, not so quietly, "I'm not going without you." Who can argue with a 3 year old jacked up on caffeine and sugar?

When the wedding and pictures were over the tears began. She cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I think it was due to extreme exhaustion and sugar withdrawals. I'm not sure. But she literally cried the rest of the night. She would stop, dance, fall down, and cry some more.

On the way home she was crying so hard that Braxton turned on the radio to help calm her...or drown her out and she said and I quote "Turn the radio down, I can't hear myself crying." Seriously?

We made it home and as I put her in her bed she said, "Mom, I don't feel good." I believe you baby. In two minutes she was out.

It was a beautiful wedding and we will forever look back and smile at the memories.

Nothing You've Done

Personally for me one of the biggest struggles after moving into Binghampton was self righteousness. You have all these people telling you how great you are, how awesome it is you have picked up your blonde haired, blue eyed children and moved them to the hood, how strong your faith must be that you would choose to live in a dark, poverty stricken, crime ridden, drug infested neighborhood.

And you start to believe it. There is not a thief in the world that can slip in the back door of your life and rob you of a heart like Jesus' like the thief of self righteousness.

"Do not say in your heart...it is because of my righteousness that the Lord has brought me in to possess this land...Not because of your righteousness or the uprightness of your heart."

Deut 9:4-6

As we head into Christmas full swing I hope my heartbeat is, nothing you've done. I pray that as we live, teach, neighbor and friend, we continually remember, nothing you've done.

Jesus came to this earth as a baby over 2,000 years ago and it is not because of anything we did or could have done. Nothing I've done or will ever do deserves a love like this, deserves redemption so great, deserves mercy so abundant, grace so overflowing or such a Savior.

But because of Him. "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-by grace you have been saved...so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards us in Christ Jesus."

My prayer for this Christmas is that we all realize there is nothing we've done to deserve it, nothing we can do to earn it, nothing we can do to pay it back, but a perfect gift is for each of us to receive, that asks.

So I write what I write and live where I live, with a humble heart and a grateful attitude that He would call me, so that He might be made known.

Where does the time go?

I can't believe so much time has passed since I blogged last. Honestly part of it is I read other blogs like Kisses from Katie, Hood Mama, and others that are full of meaning, purpose, written with words that keep you on the edge of your seat and it makes me not want to write unless I have something REALLY important to say.

Today is not that day, nothing major going on I just thought an update was needed.

Halloween was fun. My kids were funny. Emma Sanders who if you will remember is my snacker was in love with the idea of people handing out candy. She went dressed as a fairy princess. Bennett was a skeleton and Preston was an inflatable sumo wrestler. I know, last year we had a theme but I couldn't think of a cute one this year. We could call this rock, paper scissors. You know skeleton scares princess fairy, sumo wrestler squashes skeleton, fairy princess waves magic wand and shrinks sumo wrestler. A stretch I know.
One funny story is that we went up to a lady's house and she gave Emma some candy. I said, Emma what do you say to which she responded "Do you have any kit kats?" Not exactly what I was going for but oh well.

We enjoyed Thanksgiving at Mimi's. Lots of food and family. I for the first time in history did not take a camera. My sister did though and I will try to post pictures later.

We ended Thanksgiving weekend with a wedding shower for my future sister in law Anne Todd. She and my brother are getting married December 18. We are so excited. Emma Sanders is the flower girl and she has been practicing. I am sure that promises to be a good blog post. Stay tuned.